Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Unconditional Love

I had hoped that things would change. I believe that was the flaw in the plan. I had failed to notice, the never changing smile, the ever open arms. Every request that I made had the unwavering response, "As you wish". I only looked for variations, mistakes, flaws and there were none.

I had failed to compare and be grateful for what I had. I could barely reflect on all that I gained. I was focused, too focused on finding the gap, preventing an inevitable loss. Because I was sure. I was sure that there will be loss, followed by numbing pain. The good times never last, I knew that to be a fact. "Things will change. I should be prepared." It had become my mantra. More truly the bane of my life.

First to disappear was the laughter. I suddenly noticed the silence and felt glad for the change.
Second symptom was the arrival of headaches. Throbbing and aching. They would last for hours.
It took me so long to realize, the "inevitable" loss was of my own making. He suffered as well at my silent rebuke. Unbelievably, even more than me. But he never shared. Never wavered in his smile. Even now if I would ask, he would still insist "I am always here for you".

Third blow was the disinterest. An unannounced and silent death of the heart. It would be minutes before I would notice he is home. There was no light in my eyes when he smiled. I was driving him away, testing his resolve and dying slowly as I killed his love in my own heart. It was deliberate and cruel. But I was helpless in the act, he was cooking dinner and was now always at home, trying to help me heal. I hated him.

Life was on a derailed trajectory as I was trapped in this mind numbing paralysis and It would have stayed its course, had she not come into our lives. Her smile used to make him smile. A real smile, so effortless. The way he used to smile at me. I wanted him back. All of him. I wanted to rush into his arms. Be reborn. Hold him till I cant breathe.
and then, I saw her too. So tiny and cuddled up in his arms. She looked at me ~ the color of my own eyes mirrored in its depths.

A sister I had found. And I had also found the trust, my 'Pa' would never change. He had love enough for both of us.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

An Aching heart (Harry Potter Fanfiction)

DISCLAIMER: These characters belong to J.K.Rowling and no copyright infringement is intended.



It was raining heavily and Severus was stuck at spinner’s end with Pettigrew whimpering at his side. He would have been sufferring too, but his experimental potion was working wonders at countering the effects of multiple crucios which the Dark Lord favoured. He did not mind the pain. He had often faced Voldermort’s wrath. It was the ache which was unbearable.

In his 18 years of servitude with Dumbledore, he had ample opportunity to analyze love and its power. Dumbledore certainly insisted on researching it. Snape could recall countless occasions on which the headmaster had taken to narrating stories of extraordinary powers of love. Even shy hufflepuffs were known to battle with fierce protectiveness when their loved ones were endangered, and Snape was not a ‘shy hufflepuff’. He was a powerful wizard and he was in a constant battle, with himself. Because he was responsible for her death!! Lily...

He knew he had the power to smash into smithereens anything which would threaten him. Fear was an emotion which Severus inspired in others and suffered rarely from. But it was fear that scorched his very core when he realised, that the one person who he truly wished to kill, the one person he could torture till eternity and relish in it, the one person who had brought death to Lily Potter’s doorstep... was himself.. Severus Snape.. a death eater.

A light sigh escaped his lips. Rain had slowed to a slight drizzle and he still had three more locations to scout and search for Harry.

Albus believed, Harry was the key to it all, and for Severus, he was the one who could end it all. Harry Potter, an exact replica of James, with her eyes. Lily’s eyes, reminding him that he should not be alive. Guilt pierced his heart because he was still breathing.

Severeus had ensured that Harry’s... Lily’s eyes held all the hate that he deserved. He hoped to face his own death in those eyes. It would have surely ended a lot earlier if he would have just told Harry the truth, but Albus had wisely intervened, and Harry was now destined for his own battle. And according to what Albus had told him, Harry’s battle was with death itself.

He crouched low as he apparated near the forest clearing and made his way towards the thick cover of the trees. He moved towards the lake hoping for a chance to lead Harry to Gryffiondor’s sword.

It wasn’t long before he saw Harry and slowly murmured as he envisioned her smiling eyes, “Expecto Patronum”. The silver doe shining brightly in the silent forest flitted towards Harry, leading him to the lake. Severeus had always loved Lily. ”Always..”, he thought ... and he smiled.

The Story is also posted on Fanfiction.com: URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5100672/1/

Image Courtesy FanPop: http://www.fanpop.com/spots/severus-snape-and-lily-evans/images/6711208

Monday, July 14, 2008

~Eliminating Evidence~



"Did you enjoy doing that?", she hesitantly asked. Awkwardly approaching him, finding her way through the debris. Her heels made it difficult to walk on the soft ground, and yet she kept making her way towards him... steadily... Interrupting only to throw a few more questions his way. "What made you even think of such a foolish thing?"
Her tone was light-hearted, gently coaxing him, to give her a smile.

He knew it wasn't genuine. Her heart was beating much too quickly, her flushed face and clenched fists were indication enough. He could read the worry etched in her eyes.

"Are you going to reply to any one of these questions I am throwing your way?"... He gave her a look. Messy hair, brown eyes, dressed in a black t-shirt and denim jeans. She was the most beautiful thing in his life.
"No..", he replied bluntly.

He had an uncanny ability to read her mind, but she didn't lack such talents, either. She knew that he was scared too, she had noticed his quick glances to check if anyone had followed her, noticed, that his hand had never strayed far from the gun hanging in the holster latched onto his belt. He had taken off his cap and even tied his jacket at the waist.
"What if they find out? They will all come looking for us."

"If all goes as planned, things won't come to that.", he remarked dryly. All his life, this had been one thing he had been warned about, to never get involved. To never get into situations which could bring about even slightest of discomforts. But this... this was something bordering on a nightmare. Already, the events of this morning seemed blurred..unreal.

He had not told her yet, but he knew that she had guessed. But how could he begin to explain? It was difficult to convince even himself sometimes.. but, when he had walked in on their meeting, there was no room for doubt. They were planning to eliminate all the evidence. Which meant even him... and also her...


She was within his reach now, he could almost grab her hand.. and he did. "Let's go".

He turned around and ran. He had barely made it across the 3 mile mark, before he heard the blast. As the soot rained down upon them, he turned to look at the blazing fire... he looked at her and smiled... "yes.. I did enjoy doing that..".




Monday, June 9, 2008

How much have you read?

What we have here is the top 106 books most often marked as ‘unread’ by LibraryThing’s users. As in, they sit on the shelf to make you look smart or well-rounded.
Bold the ones you've read,
Add (*) beside the ones you liked and would (or did) read again or recommend. Even if you read 'em for school in the first place.
Add (<--) if the book is in your wishlist.

Addendum
Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell
Anna Karenina
Crime and Punishment
Catch-22 *

One Hundred Years of Solitude
Wuthering Heights
The Silmarillion*
Life of Pi : a novel
The Name of the Rose
Don Quixote
Moby Dick
Ulysses
Madame Bovary
The Odyssey
Pride and Prejudice
Jane Eyre *
A Tale of Two Cities
The Brothers
Karamazov Guns, Germs, and Steel: the fates of human societies War and Peace
Vanity Fair
The Time Traveler’s Wife <--
The Iliad
Emma
The Blind Assassin
The Kite Runner
Mrs. Dalloway
Great Expectations
American Gods *
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius
Atlas Shrugged
Reading Lolita in Tehran : a memoir in books
Memoirs of a Geisha*
Middlesex
Quicksilver
Wicked : the Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West *
Frankenstein
The Count of Monte Cristo *
Dracula*
A Clockwork Orange
Anansi Boys
The Once and Future King
The Grapes of Wrath
The Poisonwood Bible : a novel
1984 *
Angels & Demons
The Inferno
The Satanic Verses
Sense and Sensibility
The Picture of Dorian Gray
Mansfield Park
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
To the Lighthouse
Tess of the D’Urbervilles
Oliver Twist
Gulliver’s Travels
Les Misérables <--
The Corrections
The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time <--
Dune
The Prince
The Sound and the Fury
Angela’s Ashes : a memoir
The God of Small Things
A People’s History of the United States : 1492-present
Cryptonomicon
Neverwhere
A Confederacy of Dunces
A Short History of Nearly Everything - Bill Bryson.*
Dubliners
The Unbearable Lightness of Being
Beloved <--
Slaghterhouse-five
The Scarlet Letter <--
Eats, Shoots & Leaves <--
The Mists of Avalon
Oryx and Crake : a novel
Collapse : how societies choose to fail or succeed
Cloud Atlas
The Confusion
Lolita
Persuasion
Northanger Abbey
The Catcher in the Rye
On the Road
The Hunchback of Notre Dame
Freakonomics : a rogue economist explores the hidden side of everything*
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance : an inquiry into values <--
The Aeneid
Watership Down
Gravity’s Rainbow
The Hobbit*
In Cold Blood : a true account of a multiple murder and its consequences
White Teeth
Treasure Island
David Copperfield

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Unbidden

No one had seen her coming. Her disshelved appearance should have caught everyone's eye, but it made her a part of the mayhem around. Just another figure in the background. It was an art and she had mastered it completely.
The art of invisibility.

But It failed her today.
Today of all days when she was hoping to rely on it the most. She was going to meet him today.
She will let him see her. Maybe even let him touch her hands, like he used to when he was a kid, searching for the rest of her in the myriad lines on her palms. Today, maybe she will find his heart again, to stay in. But she trembled at these thoughts, for he was a kid no more.

And so it was, that she walked with the crowd again. She had left her tresses uncurled, her lips bereft of any shade, just the way he preferred. Pale in the scorching heat, she moved towards his grand hotel and made herself invisible. Waiting for him and only him to see her.

He came, but did not stop. He did not even look around. Could he have forgotten already?
She didn't wait and ran after him.
She called out to him.
She knew he could see her now. His eyes were shining like two parallel mirrors, recording her image, repeating it a million times over.
It must have been a minute later when she realised, he wasn't the only one watching her.
The bullet had found its mark.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

'An Abridged Fantasy'

He was sitting outside her door. Waiting.

Fiddling with configurations of his digital wrist watch. Wishing, If time could move past.. the ordained hour.
One could tell, he was a man of action, not used to waiting. His lack of patience was evident in the way his eyes would glance at the wall clock every few minutes and the rapid tapping of his left foot was evidence enough of his nervousness. He had loosened his tie and his hair was standing up, almost a home now for his stray fingers as they browsed through, in anticipaton. The worry etched on his face was almost seeping into the room, every tense second engraving lines on his face. If one was morbid enough, they could see him ageing... second by second.

He had been waiting for this moment for almost an year. The perfect time when he could be someone's Knight. The thought of finally taking the jump, the responsibility of another life. But the gravity of his responsibility had taken time to sink in. He was scared.. he would be a fool to not admit that, but more importantly.. he was eager! All his instincts assured him that he would not fail this. He will always take care, 'a commitment for life'.
The slight hum of the Air Conditioner was still keeping him company but his ears were attuned to pick up only one sound. Her cry... or the opening of a creaking door.

It must have been only another 15 minutes, those which felt like ages to him. The door creaked open, and he turned around.

"come in Sir"..

He walked in.
She handed him his baby in his arms.
As he gazed with proud tearful eyes at his wife, he could not believe how wonderful it felt, as his fantasy... came to Life!

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Fateful thursday!

Howling winds outside the window were rattling the glass panes. Struggling to find a way in. The noise grabbed her attention and she looked up from her laptop screen.
Her actions seemed animated, as if she was bubbling with excitement, unable to contain it within.
She was pretty sure that if she would have been alone in the house, she would have jumped with joy and danced to an imaginary tune so as to celebrate the good news she had just received.
As it was, the hour on the clock was past midnight and the decent population on this side of the planet was well into their 8-hour sleep cycles.

who would not be asleep at this hour? she sought in excitement at least one friend from beyond the seas, to share this news with. There must be someone, who is not taken with work pressures or busy with exam schedules. Just one someone who could dance with joy at this piece of news.
But it seemed as if retiring to bed and sharing the thought with her dreams was her best bet.








Unconditional Love