DISCLAIMER: These characters belong to J.K.Rowling and no copyright infringement is intended.
A journey of a thousand miles
It was only yesterday that she was teasing Sirius, wasn’t it? She remembered walking into number 12 Grimmauld place, only to walk in on Remus and Sirius laughing and saying something about being fifteen and idiots. She’d stumbled, not surprisingly, and had entered the room to find both Remus and Sirius barely standing upright, as they struggled to control their laughter.
Amused by this spectacle, she had commented, “So… is it true? You guys made out when you were fifteen?”
This resulted in an initial gasp of shock, followed by an even more uncontrollable fit of laughter. Sirius regained his composure, only to ask, “Whatever gave you that idea dear cousin?”
“I hope this is just an after effect of keeping your hair green, Nymphadora,” Remus had continued in a lazy drawl.
She didn’t bother to suppress her urge to frown when he used her hated first name.
“It’s Tonks, Remus! As for where I got that idea, I just heard both of you talking about being fifteen and idiots.. and for two good looking guys, you both sure seem to be obviously single.”
“Well, dear cousin,” Sirius replied, “There was the small matter of being in a prison for 12 years.”
“And as for me,” Remus continued, “Being a werewolf does slow down the social scene a bit.”
As she’d listened to both of them laugh again, she could easily imagine them as school kids prowling around Hogwarts, coming up with sneaky pranks. She distinctly remembered how Remus had turned a brilliant shade of red, when she had walked up to him and said, “Well, what’s stopping you now!”
Sirius had teased Remus the whole day about going soft on his cousin, and she had taken to turning her hair green whenever she saw Remus, just to remind him of the conversation.
But today, everything was so drastically black in Grimmauld Place. Everyone was in black robes, dressed for mourning.
She had eyes only for Remus, because she knew he would know her pain and because she knew his pain as well. She saw him standing near the fireplace, staring at the glowing embers as if willing himself to see through them. She walked towards him.
Her toe caught on the rim of her black robes just as she was reaching him, but his hands instinctively came out to support her.
“Are you okay Dora?” he asked with concern, and she could not deny him a smile as she replied.
“Well sure! What to fear when the werewolf is near, right?”
But he only held on to her even more tightly. As if he was the one needing her support and not the one providing it. She just enveloped him in a warm hug and whispered, “He would want you to be happy, Remus..”
Remus only nodded and whispered back, “He would want the same for you.”
They had soon fallen into the habit of seeing each other every day. After the Order meetings, or before she would be leaving on one of her assignments, they would just sit in the kitchen and he would make her a cup of tea. She had gotten in the habit of keeping track of the moon cycles, arranging for the wolfsbane to be ready on time and also keeping a meal ready for him while he rested after a transformation, even if she had to ask Molly to help her with the cooking.
During one such evening, they were having a cup of tea after an Order meeting when Remus tiredly mentioned, “I wish things had turned out differently.. Harry needs so much more than he has. Sometimes it’s hard to believe what we’re asking of him. If only I could give him the home he needs. Dora…I...uh…How can I solve this?”
It touched her to see him opening himself to her, but she wasn’t ignorant of the worries which haunted him. And she knew that Harry was like a son to Remus, not just a responsibility. She leaned in closer and slowly brushed his cheek, trying to reassure him through touch as words failed her. But she managed to say, “We will figure it out Remus…together…we’ll figure it out.”
Remus breathed a sigh and as he took her hands in his, there was an amber glow in his eyes; a fading reflection of the questions going through his mind. “Why, Dora? How is it that you can look at my scarred face week after week and not grow weary? Why is it that you try to see worth in me when everyone else knows my life to be a misery?”
She touched her lips to his in a gentle kiss to show him why. She wanted him to feel what she felt for him. And as her hands touched him in reverence, she let them convey the words that he needed and her kiss to be the thread of conviction in what she felt. But she knew that he needed to hear the words, needed for it to be said, and so she did, interspersed with kisses all over his face, his scars, his eyes; in an attempt to reach his heart.
“Because you can look at my bubble gum pink hair and still see me instead. Because all your scars can’t take away the fact that it’s your smile that makes my day; and you may turn into a werewolf once in a while, mister, but is that anything even close to changing shapes every day?”
Remus could only look at her, part in awe and part disbelief. Could he really deserve something so good in his life? He knew that he was holding onto her. She was part of why he was still going on, along with Harry of course. But did he really have a chance at the happiness that she offered, or was he pulling her down? The world still wasn’t ready to truly accept a werewolf.
She noticed the frown creeping back onto his face and took him in her arms again as she said, “We don’t have to plan the whole journey just yet; all we need to do, is take a single step.” The first step…on a journey of a thousand miles.
