Unconditional Love

I had hoped that things would change. I believe that was the flaw in the plan. I had failed to notice, the never changing smile, the ever open arms. Every request that I made had the unwavering response, "As you wish". I only looked for variations, mistakes, flaws and there were none.

I had failed to compare and be grateful for what I had. I could barely reflect on all that I gained. I was focused, too focused on finding the gap, preventing an inevitable loss. Because I was sure. I was sure that there will be loss, followed by numbing pain. The good times never last, I knew that to be a fact. "Things will change. I should be prepared." It had become my mantra. More truly the bane of my life.

First to disappear was the laughter. I suddenly noticed the silence and felt glad for the change.
Second symptom was the arrival of headaches. Throbbing and aching. They would last for hours.
It took me so long to realize, the "inevitable" loss was of my own making. He suffered as well at my silent rebuke. Unbelievably, even more than me. But he never shared. Never wavered in his smile. Even now if I would ask, he would still insist "I am always here for you".

Third blow was the disinterest. An unannounced and silent death of the heart. It would be minutes before I would notice he is home. There was no light in my eyes when he smiled. I was driving him away, testing his resolve and dying slowly as I killed his love in my own heart. It was deliberate and cruel. But I was helpless in the act, he was cooking dinner and was now always at home, trying to help me heal. I hated him.

Life was on a derailed trajectory as I was trapped in this mind numbing paralysis and It would have stayed its course, had she not come into our lives. Her smile used to make him smile. A real smile, so effortless. The way he used to smile at me. I wanted him back. All of him. I wanted to rush into his arms. Be reborn. Hold him till I cant breathe.
and then, I saw her too. So tiny and cuddled up in his arms. She looked at me ~ the color of my own eyes mirrored in its depths.

A sister I had found. And I had also found the trust, my 'Pa' would never change. He had love enough for both of us.

An Aching heart (Harry Potter Fanfiction)

DISCLAIMER: These characters belong to J.K.Rowling and no copyright infringement is intended.

It was raining heavily and Severus was stuck at spinner’s end with Pettigrew whimpering at his side. He would have been sufferring too, but his experimental potion was working wonders at countering the effects of multiple crucios which the Dark Lord favoured. He did not mind the pain. He had often faced Voldermort’s wrath. It was the ache which was unbearable.

In his 18 years of servitude with Dumbledore, he had ample opportunity to analyze love and its power. Dumbledore certainly insisted on researching it. Snape could recall countless occasions on which the headmaster had taken to narrating stories of extraordinary powers of love. Even shy hufflepuffs were known to battle with fierce protectiveness when their loved ones were endangered, and Snape was not a ‘shy hufflepuff’. He was a powerful wizard and he was in a constant battle, with himself. Because he was responsible for her death!! Lily...

He knew he had the power to smash into smithereens anything which would threaten him. Fear was an emotion which Severus inspired in others and suffered rarely from. But it was fear that scorched his very core when he realised, that the one person who he truly wished to kill, the one person he could torture till eternity and relish in it, the one person who had brought death to Lily Potter’s doorstep... was himself.. Severus Snape.. a death eater.

A light sigh escaped his lips. Rain had slowed to a slight drizzle and he still had three more locations to scout and search for Harry.

Albus believed, Harry was the key to it all, and for Severus, he was the one who could end it all. Harry Potter, an exact replica of James, with her eyes. Lily’s eyes, reminding him that he should not be alive. Guilt pierced his heart because he was still breathing.

Severeus had ensured that Harry’s... Lily’s eyes held all the hate that he deserved. He hoped to face his own death in those eyes. It would have surely ended a lot earlier if he would have just told Harry the truth, but Albus had wisely intervened, and Harry was now destined for his own battle. And according to what Albus had told him, Harry’s battle was with death itself.

He crouched low as he apparated near the forest clearing and made his way towards the thick cover of the trees. He moved towards the lake hoping for a chance to lead Harry to Gryffiondor’s sword.

It wasn’t long before he saw Harry and slowly murmured as he envisioned her smiling eyes, “Expecto Patronum”. The silver doe shining brightly in the silent forest flitted towards Harry, leading him to the lake. Severeus had always loved Lily. ”Always..”, he thought ... and he smiled.

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